You have been involved in both our zine and your own zine creations. When did you first encounter a love for zines?
I ended up joining a course to work with the uni's undergraduate magazine. The following semester, I became co-editor in chief. A few years after graduation, I wanted to get back into publishing and have the goal of making my own publishing and print house combo for "unpublishable books." For now, I'm building up my own litmag, Unicorn Teeth Magazine, with the purpose of fundraising for good causes, building up new and anti-colonialist avant-garde writers, and giving new editors a portfolio and connections. I've always loved bookish creations and the processes involved. It was inevitable for me to toss my witchy hat in the ring.
In our most recent issue, Embrace the Depravity, you wrote on the possibility of decolonizing the pastoral aesthetic through abjection. You argue that we must decenter the colonialist subject and use Julia Kristeva's theory to develop a pathway forward. I'm curious what the process of exploring that topic was like? What brought you to the pastoral?
I actually began an interest in the pastoral specifically during an Eco-Critical Milton class. Eco-criticism was always an area of literary interest, but pastoral specifically has been Christianized and colonized, mostly during the Enlightenment when Europeans were trying to claim Ancient Greece as their literary heritage. I’ve been working on a larger project exploring different aspects of the Christianized pastoral, particularly Necropastoral, for the poetry collection I’m developing in my MFA program.
Abjection is very much the disruption of idealism to its utmost extreme—the defiance of symbolism, “humanness,” and separation. In all the nature and ecological poems I’ve studied for my poetry collection, there’s never been utmost disgust and empathy held at the same time. Beauty is important, yes, but disgust is arguably more so, especially when anyone who is treated with disgust is often destroyed or banned. How we treat nature is also how we treat humans, police their existence. It’s inseparable. It’s why making the argument that our idyllic versions of nature should include welcomed disgust as natural is important. In my case, it's also an attempt at queering this Christian revisionist pastoral. While some might suggest this is a roundabout way of getting to goblincore, which is also really popular among the rainbow community, goblincore plays into "it's so ugly, it's cute" and still identifiable shapes, forms, identities. Julia Kristeva's Abjection requires the removal of all identification and could be argued as inherently "anti-aesthetic." That makes her theory a really potent counterweight to capitalist aestheticism. It also forces you to think of your body as always having been a part of nature, not unnatural. Recognizing the in-separation between the body, birth, death, and the earth, the nonlinear we exist in, is really important to decolonizing. It's not the be all, end all, but it's a start for anyone attracted to these pastoral aesthetics.
Speaking of our zine, you have contributed to all three volumes which range from the horrors of the mundane to the folkloric. What do you enjoy about writing horror? Is there a specific subgenre of horror that calls out to you?
See, the funny thing is, I no longer am able to recognize what’s horror for I am so deeply embedded in the sauce, lol. (Flashbacks to short story class where the professor asked for someone to share a funny story after a sad one and I raised my hand eagerly. Jaws dropped. Eyes bugged. Someone had to leave to pee for like 20 mins. I may have scarred someone for life? I definitely became memorable.)
The true reason is probably because I’m trans, abrosexual, neurodivergent, and grew up in Southern Gothic and outcasts always slant towards what’s labeled as horror because it’s where we find ourselves the most.
Do you have specific authors who inspire work such as "Manifesto" (Volume 2) and "Unconditional Love" (Volume 1) ?
“Unconditional Love” is literally a fanfic poem based on the pov of what Carl’s mom would be like from the infamous YouTube series, Llamas with Hats.
“Manifesto” was created because I wanted a poem with “Manifesto” as a title because it sounds cool. An amazing poet I know, Maureen P. Medina, author of My Fears Out Loud, writes a lot of manifestos, though she doesn’t call them that. It fed into my own manifesto, which was also directly linked to my “The Ugly Egg” poem.
As someone who also works on creating zines, what do you find the toughest part of the process to be? And on the flip side, what about zines makes the toughest parts worth it?
Having a zine environment where everyone is on the same page. There’s a lot of drama and jealousy, doxxing and malicious gossip in the publishing industry. Add global anti queer policies, genocides, as in PLURAL, ai, and capitalism entering its final stages (fascism), and it can be hard to find zine where y’all all agree whether or not the magazine font should be in serif or not.
The result often is a zine that connects writers to each other, form a community where people might think none exist, and share something new and precious with the world. Oh, and very pretty and shiny prints. We are magpies in this biz.
Any advice for anybody considering starting a zine?
For those who've never started or been in a zine:
Zines don't have to be immortal. Whenever people start their own zines with friends or by themselves, usually, in the back of their imaginations, they think it'll take off, pay the bills. This is not the case, lol. Zines often are created by a timeplace desire and a friend group. Sometimes, those friends drift away. Sometimes, you can't afford to continue the zine because of time/energy/cost. It's okay to plan for a zine lasting 1-5 years, then moving onto another project. Some people who work on zines end up working in different areas like activism or another publishing arena. Not everything has to live forever to make an unshakeable impact.
For those who've been a part of litmags and other publications and know they want to start a zine:
Keep it manageable for one person to run the administration part solo (if needed). Plan for the worst case scenario at all times. Your layout designer is m.i.a. on the week the magazine is supposed to be put together. You forget the passcodes to the publication email--heck, you forget the passcode to your own laptop and it somehow catches on fire. (I've known at least 3 people who've had laptop fires.) The payment processors refuse to payout any money because of new rulings on what's considered "taboo" (look up the itch io queer content takedown). Packages go missing in the mail...three times. You have twenty-seven obvious typos in the final print layout, and misspelled a writer's name, and have paid hundreds of nonrefundable dollars. NO ONE READS THE FIRST ISSUE. The list does, in fact, go on.
It's nearly impossible to prepare for the worst initially. Starting a publication is incredibly overwhelming, even if you've run one before. Go at a snail's pace and feel no guilt about it. It might take a full year to get things running and that's an excellent opportunity to document the journey and form a community before the opening. Everyone would rather submit to or work at a publication that's competently run than a publication that's a dumpster on a railroad track, powered by a strap on ACME rocket.
Recommend a book or movie (or both) to us!
Llamas with Hats. You have to watch it!!
The Summer Hikaru Died will make you scream in queer excitement in episode 2. It’s the best boy love horror I think I’ve seen to this date. There’s not many episodes but you will stan.
My Queer Little Nightmares is a poetry/short story anthology you will also love. Oh!!! and the short horror collection Exequial by Hannah Rebekah Graves. Literally one of the best horror collections I've ever had the pleasure of reading.
Is there anything you'd like to promote?
I have a book out right now in want of readers. Melodia has poems that are serious, unserious, and sexy in the queerest ways. It wants to watch you while you sleep, give you a kiss, tickle your feet. It's available for international orders though this link Melodia.